New Hope? (re-write)
by feather flyer
Summary: "You're different. What happened Max?" he asks sadly. I shake my head. "I'm not the little girl you knew ten years ago. Life is a cruel game and I'm stuck in the middle of it. And sometimes in that game, pieces fall off the table. I'm about to fall Fang. And this time, I don't think I can get back up." "Then I guess I'll have to change the game." And he leans forward and kisses me.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! So this is a rewrite and I hope my writing and spelling is better. My sister is now my bata. So… I hope you like it.**

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**_Chapter 1_**

_11 years before_

"Fangy boy!" Five-year old Max calls out to the other five-year old struggling behind her. Young Max dances through the forest turning, leaping and skipping between trees.

She turns around to call out to the boy again, but he was gone.

The girl's heart started to beat faster as she peered into the trees. "Fang? Fangy boy?!"

Then, a hand landed on her shoulder, and she let out a squeal and fell.

The blond lays on her back as she peers into the dark-eyes of the five-year-old standing above her. She then burst into a fit of giggles and was soon joined by the boy.

After awhile, the boy helped her up, and they continued walking through the forest, holding hands.

They stopped under a willow tree that had the girl's and boy's initials carved into it, claiming it theirs, and sat down.

"Do you love me?" The girl suddenly asked.

The boy's face heated up. "W-what?" He stutters.

"Well, I asked mommy why she married papa. She said that if you love someone, you end up marrying them. I love you. You're my best friend. Do you love me?" The girl says simply.

The boy shifts uncomfortably. Finally he replies. "Yeah. I love you. You're my best friend too."

The girl's eyes sparkle and she jumps up, pulling the boy with her. "Lets get married then!" She says in excitement, reaching for her pocket.

"N-Now?" The boy says in disbelief.

"Yeah! It can be our secret! See, look!" The girl pulls out two plastic rings. One had a plastic flower, which she gave to the boy. Then, she took the one with the spider.

"Do you, Fangy boy, promise to love me forever and ever and always be my best friend?"

"Y-yeah." The boy says with a reddening face.

"No!" The girl shouts and punches him in the shoulder. "You're supposed to say 'I do'."

"I do." The boy corrects himself quickly. The girl puts the spider ring on his finger. "Do you, Maxie girl, promise to love and trust me forever and ever?"

"I do." The girl says proudly. He slides the flower ring onto her finger. "Now, you may now kiss the bride!"

"W-what?!" The boy squeaks. "I have to kiss you?!"

The girl puts a hand on her hip and cocks it, mimicking her mother. "And what's wrong with that? You're not still scared of cooties are you?" She pouts.

"N-no!" The boy quickly leans in and pecks her on the lips, blushing a deep scarlet.

The girl smiles and giggles. She grabs his hand and they walk back to their house for bedtime.

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_2 years later_

The seven-year-old flings herself into the boy's arms, crying.

"Maxie girl, what's wrong?" The dark-haired boy asks.

"I-I'm m-mov-ing." She sobs into his black shirt. He hugs her back in shock. They had always been best friends. Their mom's were childhood friends. Now she was leaving.

Then another boy, one with strawberry blond hair, walks up. His bright blue eyes are light compared the other boy's almost black ones. "What's wrong with Max?" The boy asks.

They had met the boy a year before, instantly becoming friends when he stood up to Max. Of course, she gave him a bloody nose.

The boys look into each other's eyes, light and dark, for a moment before the first boy speaks. "Sh-she's leaving." And a tear leaks down his cheek.

* * *

_Now_

I take one last look at the door behind me. I wasn't going to miss it one bit. We, my dad and I, were moving back to my home town. I was kind of nervous. I hadn't been there in nine years, but I could remember it clearly.

"Maximum! Get down here! We need to go!" I flinch at his voice and run down the stairs. I get into the car, before he can say another word. I fling my bag down beside me and stare out the window.

My hand went down to my small backpack like it had a mind of its own.

My mouth twitched into a small smile as my hand comes in contact with a plastic flower ring.

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**Kay, so that's it for now! Keep looking for the next update. I'll try to get it up as soon as possible.**

**This is feather flyer so,**

**Fly Free**

**Until then…**

**R&R?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Here's the next chapter (Obviously). Thanks for the reviews!**

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_Chapter 2_

_Max's POV_

My hand slams down hard on the alarm clock before it gets the chance to beep a second time. I pause and listen for any noise but the only sound is of my own breathing. I sit up and run my hand through my matted hair.

I stand and tip toe over to my closet, occasionally tripping over the junk that is already littering the floor.

I yank on a pair of black jeans, grey tank top, and a black hoodie. I cross to the bathroom and brush my teeth as quickly as possible. I run my hand through my hair once again and immediately hit a knot.

I look in the mirror and sigh. I run a brush through the blond knots and eventually get all of them out.

I glance in the mirror again and grab a tube of concealer. A glob squirts out onto my hand, and I apply it to any and all visible cuts or bruises.

Finally I pull on black converse and tip toe down the stairs. I pause and look around.

Snoring is coming from the couch so I know he is still asleep.

I creep into the kitchen and grab half a pop tart, knowing I should eat. I make it out of the house and start the hour trek to school.

It's peaceful out. The dark sky and the soft breeze. It's the most relaxed I have felt in a while. Then the sun starts to raise and the school comes into view. After I get my schedule, I still have time to kill before classes starts, so I wander around the hallways. Not many people are around; I still had a good twenty minuets till the bell.

I eventually make my way to class and sit in the back. I put my head phones in and put my hood up. I hunch over in my chair and lose myself in my music, trying not to draw too much attention to myself.

It doesn't work. After about fifteen minuets of sweet solitude, a poke in my arm brings me out of my music world, and into the present.

I pull one headphone out and turn to the guy sitting in the desk beside me. He had black hair that fell in front of his eyes, and was wearing all black. When I looked into his eyes, I was surprised by the black depth in them. They were very familiar.

"I'm Fang." He says and my heart stops.

Yes, I know this boy. He was my best friend all the way up to age seven when I had to move. I'd be hard to forget a name and eyes like that. I remember him clearly now but it was so long ago. He probably forgot about the simple blond girl he always hung out with.

I look away from his eyes and hide my face. "Max." I all but whisper.

He nods. "Well nice to meet you Max. I hope you enjoy this school." Just as I suspected, he didn't remember me. Even though I knew it was going to happen, I couldn't help the pang of disappointment that raises in my stomach.

I nod in answer.

We sit in silence for five more minutes before the bell rings and kids file into the classroom. They try to hide it, but I can see the curious glances people throw my way.

The teacher walks in a second after the last kid makes it to his seat. "Now class, as you can see, we have a new student today." He says. "Max, please have your hood down in the classroom."

I tossed my head back, causing my hood to fall and my blond hair to spill around my shoulders. There were sounds of surprise around the classroom. I couldn't help but glance at Fang.

A look of recognition crosses his face, and I realize that my hood must have hidden my hair.

They must have thought I was a boy. I almost smirk in amusement.

Then I glance at Fang again and see him staring and me in wonder. Maybe he does remember. He finally pulls his eyes away from me when the teacher starts the lesson.

I sat there, quietly listening to my music. I had one headphone out so I could still hear the teacher though. Every now and then I would even catch Fang looking at me with a puzzled expression.

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**Ok I have a question: should I do Fang's POV next chapter? Or should I just keep going and let you guys guess?**

**Let me know! I like to make you guys happy.**

**This is feather flyer so,**

**Fly Free**

**Until then…**

**R&R?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all the reviews guys! I decided to do Fang's POV, and I hope you like it.**

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_Chapter 3_

_Fang's POV_

I sit up with a groan in bed. I pull the covers off and stand. I have to clutch the side of the desk when the room spins around me.

I hate it when that happens. I stand up too fast and I get light-headed. I sigh and tap the snooze button on the alarm clock. I make my way over to the dresser and open the drawer.

I'm greeted with all black. I pull out a pair of jeans, a shirt, and boxers. I pull them on quickly and throw on my old black converse.

I make my way to the bathroom and brush my teeth lazily. I drag a brush through my hair, taming it somewhat.

I walk out of my room and down the stairs, into the kitchen where my mom is cooking breakfast.

I yawn and slump into a chair. She brings a stack of pancakes and bacon over and sets it in front of me to eat. I slowly eat and stare off out the window.

I down my juice and clear my dishes from the table. I peck my mom on the cheek as I walk past and whisper, "Thanks," just loud enough so she could hear it.

She smiles at me. "We have new neighbors." She says.

I look at her in shock. The only house that was for sale was Max's old one. Nobody has lived there since she left. It gave me a little pang of sadness but I immediately shook it off.

I shrug. "When did they move in?" I ask.

"They got here yesterday. They have a child your age I think. I'm not really sure. It's just what I heard." She says apologetically.

I shrug again. I run up stairs again and grab my book bag but pause at my dresser. I touch the spider ring that sits on the edge and I smirk. I snatch it up and shove it into my pocket and walk out the door.

I say good-bye to my mom and am walking to the bus stop. I don't wait long until the bus arrives. A few minuets later I'm at school and walking down the bus steps.

As soon as I'm through the school doors I get a glimpse of red hair and someone is pushing themselves against me. I instinctively shove them away.

The girl lets out a surprised squeal and stumbles back. I have to force myself to not cover my ears at the shrill.

"Fangy, what was that for? Why would you push away your girlfriend?" Lisa asks in a pout.

I scowl. "You're not my girlfriend." I walk past her and try to ignore her whining as she tries to keep up in her four-inch heels. Eventually though, she gives up and I give a quiet sigh of relief.

That is, until Iggy comes running over. "Hey man what's up?" he asks.

I shrug.

He sighs. "You can be a real pain, you know that? Why can't you just give a normal answer? Like, 'oh, nothing much'. Instead you shrug. Shrug! I swear you are an emotionless black wall. And can it kill you to wear some more color-"

"Iggy, I swear if you don't shut up, I'll kill you."

He grins. I roll my eyes. He opens his mouth to say something else but I say, "Bye" and start walking away.

I hear him laugh behind me and I have to roll my eyes again.

I make it to my locker and to first period without any more interruptions.

I pause in the door way and see a kid I the back of the classroom with his hood up and head down. He must have headphones in because he doesn't look up when I walk over and sit down.

I have never seen this kid before so I assume he's the new kid. Looks like it's a dude after all.

He still hasn't looked up yet so I tap him on the shoulder. He looks up at me and I see curiosity in his eyes. He pulls out one headphone.

"I'm Fang." I say.

He looks down, breaking eyes contact. "Max." he says.

I nod. "Well, nice to meet you Max. I hope you enjoy this school." I see disappointment flash across his features, but it's gone in an instant.

We fall into silence for another five minutes before the bell rings. Kids file into class and throw glances at Max. He ignores them though.

After the last student takes a seat, Mr. Frederick walks in. "Now class, as you can see, we have a new student today." He says. "Max, please have your hood down in the classroom."

He flicks his head back and the hood falls. Or should I say she. Her blond curls fall around her shoulders. The class lets out noises of surprise; I just stare at her closely.

She looks very familiar. She glances at me and I meet her eyes. My eyes widen as I come to the realization.

It was her. Max. Yes, I stared into those same eyes ten years ago before she moved.

Hope and amusement flashes across her features. I'm confused about the amusement, but does she remember me?

My hand goes down to my pocket.

The teacher's talking is what finally brings my eyes away from hers.

But throughout the lesson I can't help but glance at her every now and then.

Does she not remember me?

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**Alright, that's it! I hope you like it! Let me know, the next chapter will be up soon.**

**This is feather flyer so,**

**Fly Free**

**Until then...**

**R&R?**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm so sorry for taking so long to update. I forced myself to stop reading and drawing to come write. For taking forever, I made this chapter longer than usual. I hope you enjoy and review.**

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_Chapter 4_

Max's POV

As soon as the bell rings I disappear out of the classroom, scolding myself for hoping he would remember me.

I'm walking to my second period class when a girl with red hair stops me. She stares at me intently for a while so I dip my head making my bangs cover my face. "Can I help you?" I whisper.

She still doesn't speak, and I squirm under her stare. "I'm Lisa." She finally says.

"Max." I say just above a whisper.

"Speak up." She snaps.

I cower but do as I'm told. "Max." I repeat louder.

She smirks smugly and leans on one towering heal. "Good." She purrs. "I'm the queen of this school. You do whatever I say, no more, no less. Got it?" I give a small nod and she stalks away.

I surge forward and slip into my class. I slide into a seat in the back corner and slouch down. I sit there through class, not listening, and playing my favorite songs of Paramore, Green Day and Three Days Grace. I quietly tap my finger and stare out a window, wishing I could just jump out and escape. Not just school, but life.

A thick lump forms in my throat and I pull my gaze away.

* * *

I take a deep breath and push open the doors to the cafeteria. All heads swivel to look at me but I just keep my head down and hide behind my bangs and hood. I slide into a seat at an empty table and fiddle with my sweatshirt sleeve.

Everybody had gone back to his or her conversation, by Lisa's order, but I could feel a pair of eyes boring into the side of my hood. I turn slightly and look through my bangs.

Black orbs stare back unwavering.

Fang.

He sits with two other people. A girl with mocha colored skin and pretty, dark curly hair, and a boy with strawberry blond hair. I recognize him instantly by the devilish grin spreading across his face.

Iggy.

I wonder if he still likes bombs. To answer my question he shows the girl an object with wires sticking out. I recognized it as one of his many stink bombs that he used to set off at school.

My eyes flicker back to Fang, and his gaze bores into mine. Finally, my sight drops back to my hands, and I drown myself in music.

The screech of a chair makes me look up again. Iggy had stood up and was walking toward the cafeteria door, stuffing the bomb into his pocket. A mischievous smirk crosses his face.

My eyes widen, and I'm out of my seat in an instant, crossing to the emergency exit. I push the door open and jog to the other side of the parking lot and wait. Two minutes later, the emergency exit doors burst open. Iggy, the girl, Fang, and another boy with blond hair bust out. Iggy and the girl where laughing, the boy was cackling, and Fang just smirked. After they got twenty paces away, the school shook, and moments later, there was screaming. Then, a green gas leaked through the doors, and kids poured out of them.

By then, the small group had made it to my side of the parking lot, laughing. Abruptly, the blond boy notices me and stops laughing. A second later, everyone else notices me and are all staring.

I shift uncomfortably when the boy speaks. "Why are you out here?"

Before I can stop myself I reply, "I'd rather not breath in toxic gas." All but Fang look at me in surprise.

"How you know it was a stink bomb?"

"I know a stink bomb when I see one." I scoff, then realized my tone and words. I stutter to fix them. "S-sorry." I put my head down and retreat into my hood.

Iggy grins and steps forward. I flinch when he flings his arm around my shoulders, but he doesn't seem to notice. "Well it looks like we have another person who knows something about bombs. Hear that Gasman?!" The blond boy grins.

I struggle to get out of his grip but it tightens. His hand presses into my healing dislocated shoulder and I gasp in pain.

I close my eyes and count to ten, repeating over and over in my head, _pain is just a message. Pain is just a message._

I open my eyes again, and the pain ebbs. No one seems to have noticed. Good.

"Welcome to the Flock!" Iggy continues obviously. Or he doesn't care. Probably the latter. "You are our newest member and friend!" he says happily.

I finally slip out of his grip and start to walk away. "No thanks. I'll pass."

"Hey, wait!" he calls and steps forward, grabbing my jacket. My hood falls and I turn to look at them.

There was a small silence and Iggy's eyes widen. Another second passes, and I was about to walk way we he said, "Max?! Is it really you?"

I fake confused, keeping my mask on. "Yeah?"

"It's me Iggy! Remember me?!" he says excitedly. It broke my heart.

I tilted my head and still faked confused. "I'm sorry… Am I supposed to know you?" His face sunk and I felt bad.

"Oh…" He dropped his eyes. "Never mind." He walks away sulking and the boy, Gasman, and the girl, follow. Fang stays, watching me intently.

I shift uncomfortably.

"Do you really not remember him? Do you remember me?" he asks.

I shake my head slowly. It would put him in danger if he were my friend. His whole face sinks, and my heart squeezes. So he does remember me. But I have to act like I don't remember him.

He pulls something out of his pocket and I suck in a breath. I'm about to shatter. "Do you remember this?" he asks.

I force myself to laugh but I still have my eyes trained on it. A plastic spider ring. "You keep a little kids ring? Isn't that a little childish?" I question.

_It's not._ I'm cracking at the edges.

His face sinks more. "Oh… okay. I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

By now everyone has evacuated and was going home. "Bye…" I can't help but whisper to his back the last part. "Fangy boy."

I see him freeze and start to turn around with wide eyes. He had heard me. My heart squeezed with hope and fear. But by the time he fully turns around, I'm disappearing into the woods.

My heart is racing as I walk through the forest. When I'm a half mile from my house, I pause at a tree. Our tree. I ran my fingers over the carved bark and my heart squeezes more. I push myself to continue walking, even if I don't walk to go home.

I come to a stop at my front door and glance over at Fang's bedroom window. I see him looking down at me and I shudder. I push the door open and step into the home of hell.

**(A.N. I was going to stop here but I decided to give you a peak into Max's home life.)**

I was immediately consumed by the thick fume of alcohol. The door shuts behind me, and my heart speeds up. I take a step forward, and a bottle crunches under my foot. I wince.

A knife whizzes a millimeter from my head and wedges into the door behind me.

I swallow a thick lump in my throat. The next thing I know, I'm on my back with a weight on top of me, alcohol breath in my face.

"How was your first day of school?" he hisses in my ear. "Make any friends?"

"No." I whisper. His hand comes down, punching me in my throat.

"Speak up!" he bellows.

"No." I croak louder.

He grins down at me and pulls the knife out from the door. He spins it around his fingers and drops close to my stomach. He pulls up my shirt to reveal my bare stomach. He digs it into my skin and I bite my lip to keep from crying out.

Tears brim my eyes, but I'm Maximum Ride, and I don't cry. So I hold my breath and wait for the torture to end.

Eventually I slip into the safety of unconsciousness.

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**And that's it. My mom needs the computer so I have to get off. Don't forget to review.**

**This is feather flyer so,**

**Fly Free**

**Until then,**

**R&R?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! I meant to get this up sooner, but sadly, every time I wanted to write on the computer, it was always being used. So here I am at 12:00 on a school night, though it might not be posted till next afternoon. I hope you enjoy.**

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Chapter 5

_Max's POV_

When I wake up in the morning I drag myself up the stairs and lock myself in the bathroom. I turn on the shower, and steam surrounds me. I peel my shirt, sticky with blood, over my head and fling it into some unknown corner.

I step into the shower and let the searing hot water run over my bruises and cuts. I watch as the water turns red at my feet and go down the drain. Eventually, the water turns to pink, then clear again.

With sore muscles, I massage shampoo into my hair. I watch that go down the drain too. I step out, turn the water off, and pat my skin dry, careful not to reopen any wounds.

I pull on a black T, black jeans and converse, and shrugged on a grey hoodie. I brush out my wet hair and dry it. I rub the fog off the mirror and smudge concealer over the bruise on my jaw and on my neck.

I sigh and step into the hall. I creep down the stairs and grab my fallen bag, then walk out the door.

I breathe in the early morning air and stare up at the fading stars. I sigh contentedly in the peaceful silence and cool breeze. I close my eyes and stuff my hands in my pockets, listening to music. As I get to the doors of the school, I pull up my hood and shrink into it. It's still early, so I head to home room and sit in the back.

Slowly, people trickle in.

Fang comes in, and I nod in acknowledgement when he says hi.

I feel his stare on the side of my head and I shift uncomfortably. The teacher either doesn't notice or doesn't care about my hood.

I pull out my pocketknife and play with it in my hands. I run my thumb over the blade, feeling the cold of the metal seep into my skin. It's a really beautiful blade. All black, even the metal, and the sharp part a shiny silver. It's jagged toward the handle. Like I said, a beautiful knife.

* * *

At lunch I sit at my table doing nothing, picking at my pop tart, when suddenly, there was the screech of a chair, and four people plop down around me.

Fang and Iggy stare at me, Gasman is bouncing, and Nudge looks about ready to explode from one of Iggy's bombs.

I glance up through my bangs, and then look down, twiddling with my fingers nervously.

"Hi! I'm Nudge as you probably know from yesterday, that's the Gasman but we call him Gazzy, and Iggy and Fang already introduced themselves. Iggy seems pretty bummed that you didn't recognize him. Do you recognize him? I- Hey where are you going?!"

I had stood up and was walking towards the doors that lead to outside. I shove through them and sit down in the grass by myself.

Nudge seems nice and all, and I don't want to hurt her feelings, but it's better that way. Better for her to get her feelings hurt that to have her physically hurt by dad…. No Jeb.

I sigh and put my head in my hands as the bell rings.

* * *

I walk through the trees, running my hands over the leaves and rough bark. I stop at the giant willow tree that shelters the trunk from view. I put the palm of my hand next to the carving and close my eyes. I can see memories of Fang and I.

I remember a time when we were six, we stole two tubs of ice cream from my house and we brought them all the way out here to the tree. By the time we got here though, all the ice cream was melted to a soup so we drank it. We came home covered in the stuff.

A small smile formed on my lips.

I remembered a time when we tried to run away three months before I found out we were moving. We made it to the tree and tried to camp out. Stupid us; we hadn't brought a single thing. We didn't make it through half of the night, it was so cold. We ran all the way back to the house and sat in front of a fire. No one even knew we left.

I let out a breathy laugh that was more of a sigh.

And I remember the ring. I pulled the plastic ring from my pocket and ran my thumb over it. What little happiness I have left.

It's not fair. Not fair that I have to pretend. It's not fair that I have to be alone.

I pulled out my pocket knife and drove it into the bark next to the engraving.

But life isn't fair. Nothing in life is ever fair. **(A/N: I do not own this quote or any others in this story!)**

I knew it was time to let go of my happy past because I can't have anything back from it. I hung the delicate ring on the handle of the pocketknife, ready to let that go too. But my hand hesitated, not wanting to give it up, when a voice behind me made me go rigid.

"So, you do remember."

I whipped around and came face to face with my child hood friend. I expected him to be angry and mad, but he wasn't.

A look of confusion and interest shone in his eyes.

"Why did you lie? Why did you say you didn't remember me? And Iggy?"

I looked down. "You weren't supposed to know."

"Why?"

_Watch your tongue_, I warn myself. "I don't want friends." _Not true._ "I don't need friends."

"You hurt Nudge's feelings when you walked away."

_Get rid of him._ "She was annoying me. You're the ones who came to me." I pointed out.

I thought I had gone to far when anger flashed through his eyes. "We're trying to be nice! She was so excited to possibly have a new friend!" I flinched back expecting a blow. When it didn't come I opened an eye. His fists are clenched but they stay by his side.

I shrugged like I didn't care, but my heart squeezed painfully.

"She wont give up you know." He warned. "I wont either."

_Please don't._ "Well you should," I say bitterly.

He walks past me, grabs the ring off the makeshift hook, and yanks the knife out of the tree.

My eyes widen and I scramble away, trying to put distance between the knife and me.

He folds it and tosses it at my feet, the ring soon follows. "Don't get rid of that just yet."

And he disappears back through the curtain of leaves.

I stand there for a second before scooping up the items at my feet and shoving them into my pocket.

I weave through the trees and jog up to my door. I glance to the house on my left and see Fang's lamp on, and him doing homework like he never went anywhere. I shove into the house and pause, listening for a moment. After roughly ten seconds of hearing nothing, I walk into the kitchen and grab some stale bread and a slice of cheese. It seems that no one is home, so I jog up the stairs and into my room.

I shrug off my hoodie, pull my shirt over my head, and put on my pajama top and sweats.

I put in my ear buds and turn up the music as loud as it can go without busting my eardrums. I listen to Green Day, Three Days Grace, and Paramore while I try to forget my problems and life itself.

* * *

Apparently, I fell asleep, because I woke up to the sound of the front door slamming and someone stomping through the blare of my music.

"Maximum Ride!" Jeb bellowed.

I wince and take out my headphones. I glance at the clock to see it read 1:36am.

I sigh and roll out of bed and pad toward the door with light steps.

"Max!"

I hurry faster and go to face the spawn of Satin.

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**And that's it! The next chapter is going to be sad and shorter. But I love how I wrote it. Hopefully I'll have that up sooner. Maybe by the end of the week. Well I'm going to bed. Have a wonderful, happy day.**

**This is feather flyer so,**

**Fly Free**

**Until then…**

**R&R?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Wow, this is a lot longer than I thought it would be. So anyway, here is the next chapter (Obviously). I told you it would be up sooner! :P**

**Warning: in my opinion, this is a sad, depressing chapter. There will be more depressing chapters to come.**

**And because I always forget: I do not own Maximum Ride or any of the characters. I know… sadly I do not own Fang or Iggy.**

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Chapter 6

_Max's POV_

**Six Years Before**

The ten-year old girl walked through the kitchen quietly and snatched an apple before sprinting up the stairs to her room. She waited, counting to ten, and when she heard no noise other than her own heavy breathing, she sighed in relief.

She was scared of her father. Scared like no child her age should ever be.

She padded over to her bed and pulled out a pocketknife. She cut out a piece of apple and stuck it in her mouth, savoring the sweet juicy taste.

Happy images of spring and summer with her parents filled her head. Her parents before it all happened.

She started to cut through the apple for another slice. She remembered walking to the park between her smiling parents, singing and dancing carelessly. Unfortunately, that memory turned sour, as did the apple in her mouth.

She saw flashes. A toy, her mom reaching for her, eye contact, a blur of grey… then red. Blood. It was everywhere. On the car, on the ground, on the eight-year old's hands. All over her limp mother's body.

Her chest squeezed painfully as she remembered. The images flooded her once innocent mind.

Then, there was another pain. Sharper, but more bearable. It was in her hand. She looked down and saw blood again, but it was her own. The apple had fallen to the floor with a light thud when she had accidentally cut her hand.

It seemed to have brought her back to reality and the throb in her chest dimmed, replaced by the sharp needles in her hand.

She stared in wonder at the cut, at how it could have taken her pain. Experimentally, she brought the knife to her wrist and cut. Pain welled up, along with the blood, but it was dim compared to her emotions. She was mesmerized by it and made another line.

* * *

**Present**

I'm having one of my hopeless days. One of the days where I feel nothing and everything at the same time. One of the days where no matter what happens, I'm always feeling empty and hollow, like there's no hope at all.

One of the days where I don't think I want to continue living. I don't care if I die here or now. My only regret is still breathing this damn air. I don't want to continue in this hell of a life. A day where I'm that much closer to breaking.

I used to think that no one could break me. But then, I thought, _W__ho am I kidding? I was broken a long time ago, the moment that car, no, the moment that I realized that I lost two parents instead of one when that damn car struck._

I stared at the apple in my hand, remembering the day I first did it. Made that first cut. I let the apple drop to the ground like it did that first day, and ran my thumb over the almost faded scar of my first intentional cut. I held out both of my arms so I could better see them lined with healed and almost healed scars. I pull out that same pocket knife and position it over my skin.

I shiver as the blade chills my arm. I press down and watch as the blood gathers, then slides. Dripping, I pull the knife away soaked with fresh blood, and make another quick cut.

I watch, mesmerized as my aching chest subsides and the blood dribbles down my wrist and into my hand. I watch the crimson liquid pool before falling and dripping between my fingers.

A faint smile curls my lips up. It sickens me. I know it's wrong. I know that I shouldn't, but I can't help it.

I drag the knife across again.

I don't do it often. At least, I try not to. I try to hold in my pain until it feels like I might die. That might just make it worse, though.

I switch hands and make a gash on my other arm.

I was definitely getting worse.

I can deal with physical pain. I have always dealt with it physically. It's the emotional pain that kills me.

I know I should give up. I have heard it all before.

_It's your fault._

_You're better off dead._

_Go kill yourself, no one likes you._

_Do us a favor and disappear._

_You are nothing._

Why shouldn't I believe it? I have always heard it. Even from my own father. So, why not just let go? Why not just end all the pain and misery? Why not? But I can't bring myself to do it. I guess I'm just a coward. I make another cut, but wince, because this one was slightly deeper. My vision starts to get fuzzy.

My small smile turns to a psychotic grin at the sight of my own blood on my hands.

I guess it makes my happy that Jeb can't control all of my pain. I laugh and it's one of a maniac.

I know I'm going crazy. I can physically feel it. It's clouding my mind and I can't escape. It's eating me away on the inside. I can't think. I'm going crazy. I have been told that too. But no one is there. No one is ever there.

The only one who was is dead. Because of me.

My smile melts and I stand up. I take a step forward and with a roar, fling the blood coated knife with all my might.

It lodges in the wall and vibrates from the power. Blood trickles from it.

I'm not worried about Jeb. He's dead asleep and even if I do wake him up, he can come and get me. I'm done.

My vision dances with spots. I stagger forward into the wall. i slide down it leaving a bloody hand print. My breathing shallows and I think,_ dying of blood loss… not a bad way to go._

And I drift into unconsciousness.

_I'm done._

* * *

**I know… it's sad, but it makes me happy. I just love how I wrote it. *Sigh* please leave a review and let me know what you think! Your opinion and criticism is always welcome!**

**This is feather flyer so,**

**Fly Free**

**Until then…**

**R&R?**


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